- How Does a Family Member Abuse You Sexually?
There is a high rate of sexual abuse of children committed by family members, sometimes called incest. These family members may not be blood relatives but can include others in the household, such as adopted siblings.
Abuse by family members can take many forms, including:
- The act of rape
- The act of molestation
- Touch that is unwanted
- Behaviors related to grooming
- Genital exposure
- The act of masturbating in front of a child
- The child is forced to masturbate and/or touch the perpetrator
As a child is supposed to feel and experience safety and protection during the developmental years, sexual abuse impacts their perception of their family, their bodies, and the world around them. The abuse experienced by an individual is not okay, and just because someone “had it worse” doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter how much abuse they suffered. A survivor should be aware that all abuse, including sexual abuse by a family member, is never their fault.
Families engage in covert incest when they rely too heavily on their children for emotional support. When parents treat their children as surrogate spouses, often coercing them to meet their emotional needs, this is known as covert incest or emotional incest. Although there is often no overt sexual touching in this dynamic, the child can feel trapped or too close.
- Is It Possible for a Family Member to Abuse a Child Sexually?
Family member sexual abuse can have a profound impact on one’s perception of safety and overall outlook on life. This type of trauma often occurs during the critical formative years, when feeling safe, secure, and protected is crucial for healthy development. When these elements are present, children can explore and thrive in their surroundings. However, when they experience sexual abuse at the hands of a family member, it can deeply affect their mind, body, and spirit, altering their sense of safety in the world.
You may not have recognized the abuse as such, as it was inflicted by someone you trusted and cared for. This can make it difficult to acknowledge the traumatic nature of your experiences and realize that you are still feeling the effects of sexual abuse. Dissociative symptoms, such as feeling detached from yourself, may be present without you even realizing it. If you find yourself questioning whether what happened to you constitutes sexual abuse by a family member, try using grounding techniques such as saying aloud, “I did experience sexual abuse by a family member.” This can help bring awareness to how the abuse has affected you over time.
The idea of looking at yourself through that lens can be frightening and difficult. It is important for you to be open and non-judgmental with yourself and to understand the ways the abuse may have influenced your behaviors, emotions, and coping mechanisms. Family member sexual abuse can affect many areas of life, including:
- Having difficulty focusing at school
- Anxiety
- Nightmares
- Substance abuse
- Eating disorders
- Difficulty controlling anger and panic attacks
It’s important to recognize that the behaviors, emotions, and coping strategies you’ve developed were ways to survive the trauma. Once you realize this and seek support, you can move from surviving to thriving. You can regain a sense of safety and live fully again. Creating a safe space is possible, and you don’t have to do it alone. You have come to the right place, and resources are available to help you re-establish your mind, body, and spirit.
- How Can I Find More Information about Family Sexual Abuse?
For confidential and anonymous assistance, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673) or chat online at https://hotline.rainn.org/online
Survivors of Incest Anonymous (https://siawso.org/) can help you find local support groups if you’re looking for additional resources in your local community.
Additional resources and information can be found at:
